Posted in 365 Days of Blogging, Mental Health

Day 32: Therapy Thoughts

So, for those of you following me, you know that I’ve been going through therapy for the past few months. I have a laundry list of issues I’ve been working through, the largest being regulating bipolar disorder and anxiety through a separation/divorce. Trust me, it ain’t easy. The type of therapy I’ve been going through is CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy.

CBT is interesting to say the least. It focuses on the day-to-day rather than your past. My therapist and I have made a schedule for myself, she’s helped me make plans for my future, she’s even the one who convinced me to start this blog. She is sort of like my accountability person. She helps me figure out things, helps me set goals to do things, and keeps me accountable so I actually follow through. My problem in life has been that I have these great ideas but I never followed through with them. Now with her, I actually follow through and complete those goals.

That part of CBT has been very helpful for me. It has kept me from a lot of regret. Most of the regrets in my life have come from wanting to do things but never doing them. I wanted to be a doctor at some point but I didn’t think I was smart enough. I wanted to be a nurse at some point but I was afraid I’d do something wrong. I wanted to be a dancer at some point but I thought I was too fat to do it. I wanted to be a singer at one point, but I was afraid to sing in front of other people because I thought I sounded horrible.

My life is filled with regret from not doing what I want to do. CBT has helped me avoid that regret by essentially forcing me to accomplish my goals because I have someone to report to. It’s given me the push I needed to do what I’ve really wanted to do. On the flipside of that though, I still have unresolved issues and hurt from my past that don’t get addressed in CBT. At some point in time, I may need to switch to another type of therapy. For now though, this seems to be working pretty well.

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I'm a simple single mom living a complicated life.

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