Posted in 365 Days of Blogging, Personal

Day 113: A Personal Story

What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?

Looking back on my life, there’s actually been quite a few life changing moments. Some are big, some are small, some changed things for better and others changed things for the worse. The biggest one by far has to be when my father, or as I like to call him Sperm Donor, decided to leave.

It happened when I was four years old. We were living in Atlanta at the time. My mom had gotten a job at Egleston Children’s Hospital and my father was working somewhere, but I don’t remember where. Since I was only four, I don’t remember the exact details of what happened. I sort of remember it in snapshots. Continue reading “Day 113: A Personal Story”

Posted in 365 Days of Blogging, Mental Health, Personal

Day 112: What a difference a day makes.

No, seriously. Yesterday I was flipping the fuck out over my son going to kindergarten. I flashed back to all of the shit times I had when I was in school and projected that onto his experience. I took the slightest comments about how he acted and blew it majorly out of proportion. I had myself convinced that the poor child was gonna get kicked out of school on his first day. I was beating myself up for being a horrible mother who didn’t properly prepare her child for school.

Today, with the help of some anxiety medication I should’ve been taking but wasn’t, the vast majority of that feeling is gone. Yes, I’m still worried about my baby, but it’s down to a level where I can actually function. My mind is no longer a twisted landscape of regret, guilt, and anxiety. I can take a step back and remind myself that this is only his second day in school. Ever. It’s gonna take some time for him to adjust, but he will. I will be just fine and so will my son. I just have to make sure to take my damn medicine.

Posted in 365 Days of Blogging

Day 110: I’m not raising a grown man.

I refuse to “raise” a grown ass man. That was your parent’s job. I ain’t your mama or your daddy. If you need someone to raise you, go to your mama, your daddy, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, memaw down the street, somebody else other than me. I’m not the one. I already have two kids, I don’t need another one.

I only date adults who are already their own person. I’m not here to complete you or make you whole. I expect you to be a whole person to begin with. I’m not here to fill any voids in yourself or your life. I may complement you like a good wine complements a nice entrée (the entrée is a complete and good meal by itself, but the wine makes it that much better), but I’ll be damned if I’m your “other half”. That’s too much pressure.

Continue reading “Day 110: I’m not raising a grown man.”

Posted in 365 Days of Blogging

Day 109: I Got Nothing (maybe)

Another day has come and gone and I got nothing. Well maybe. I do have one question. People (mainly old people) love shitting on millennials. Why? What the hell did millennials do to them? They raised us. Are they mad they did a shit job? I don’t get it.

Put the quill down grandpa and stop writing that think piece. Nobody needs to hear your version of “technology is new and scary” or “the young people are ruining society”. We get it. We got it the last fifty times it was written. Stop beating that dead horse already. 

Posted in 365 Days of Blogging, Mental Health, Personal

Day 108: Anxious Mommy Moment

My oldest baby starts kindergarten Monday and I’m freaking out about it. Objectively, I know he’s gonna be fine and most likely have the time of his life. The not-so-rational bit of my brain is having fun fucking with me though.

I find myself doing a rundown of every bad thing possible that could happen and analyzing how I’d react. It’s definitely not the best usage of my time but I find it hard to stop. After the anxiety wears off, I start thinking about how I felt. I’ve come to the realization that it’s actually not that bad. 

Yes, I’m probably more nervous than the average mommy, but it’s not as bad as it could be. Thanks to my medication, my anxiety has toned down quite a bit. Without my meds I’d be a sobbing mess right now. I can feel that reaction on the fringes of my mind, but I no longer feel the need to succumb to it. It feels really good to have some level of control over my emotions for the first time. It’s freeing in a way. 

So yeah, my first baby is off to school and I get to deal with it like a normal, nervous, proud mommy would. I never thought I’d be able to experience that. I’m glad I can. 

Posted in 365 Days of Blogging

Day 107: Trigger Warnings and Safe Spaces

I really don’t get all of the backlash against trigger warnings. Trigger warnings are simply notifications (warnings) that sensitive (triggering) topics may be discussed. They don’t ban certain topics from being talked about. They simply say “hey, just so you know, we’re gonna be talking about this thing.” They allow people to decide if they are willing and/or able to contribute to the conversation that will be had.

If you’re a college professor, putting trigger warnings in your syllabus is a good idea. You let your students know the grading scale, when papers are due, what the papers are about, and put other things like that in the syllabus, right? Why not let them know what topics you plan to cover in discussions and/or reading? Make sure your students are fully aware and prepared. If anything, you’ll find that your students are better prepared and more engaged in discussions when they know what’s coming.

Trigger warnings are not controversial things. They’re not that big of a deal. Hell, you see their equivalent in everyday life all the time. MPAA rating descriptions, ESRB content descriptors, even the little label on Chick-fil-A foods that tells you it was cooked in peanut oil. These don’t ban you from watching movies, playing games, or eating food. It just lets you know what’s contained in them so you can make an informed decision on what you want to watch, play, or eat.

Continue reading “Day 107: Trigger Warnings and Safe Spaces”