Posted in 365 Days of Blogging

Day 86: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child — Part Two (Spoilers)

Big spoilers ahead.

Major spoilers.

Super big. Don’t read if you don’t want it spoiled.

I’m serious.

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Voldemort has a daughter. No, you did not read that wrong, he has a freaking daughter. Not only does she have a daughter, she turns out to be a ridiculously powerful witch who pretended to be Amos Diggory’s niece in an effort to get Albus Potter to change time and bring about the reign of Voldemort so she can rule at his side.

Oh! Did I also mention that her mom is Bellatrix Lestrange? That’s right, for all you Voldemort/Bellatrix shippers out there, it’s canon! Their daughter, Delphini, was apparently born in Malfoy manner before the Battle of Hogwarts. So that means Bellatrix was pregnant during Deathly Hallows. Visibly pregnant. If that’s true, there’s no way Harry, Hermione, and Ron could’ve known that. The goblins in Gringotts would’ve known that because they had seen her. When Hermione walked in using her polyjuice potion disguise as Bellatrix, they would’ve immediately known that wasn’t really Bellatrix because she wouldn’t have been pregnant! JK and company just created a major plot hole for the seventh book and movie!

So back to Delphini and her convoluted ass plan. After plan number one of getting Albus and Scorpius to save Cedric Diggory and thereby bring about the reign of the Dark Lord (confusing, I know) fails, she decides to go with a backup. Albus mentions something about prophecies being bs and she gets the idea of going back even further in time and stopping dear ol’ daddy from trying to kill Harry Potter. (Side note: Just typing this out makes me feel like I’m reviewing an intentionally bad fanfic.)

Albus gets a message to his dad about where and when the boys are, and Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, and Draco all use a time turner that Draco had to go back and help them. their bright idea to stop her is to disguise Harry Potter as Voldemort and have him lure her into the church at Godric’s Hollow. Again, I know. In the end it takes all of them to take her down because she’s just that strong and she says she did all of that bs simply because she wanted to meet her dad.

I don’t know what to say to any of that. You know what? Yes I do. I could have read that on AO3. I could have read that on FanFiction.Net. In all reality, it’s probably a fic I would’ve skipped over because it features a ship I don’t necessarily like (Bellatrix/Voldemort), time travel AU, Voldemort wins AU, and the summary sounds completely banana pants.

What I really don’t like, however is the queer-baiting. It is made painfully obvious two male characters are in love with each other, but in the end it amounts to nothing. The character we’re supposed to believe Albus “really liked” turned out to be Voldemort’s daughter and Scorpius is still chasing after Rose Granger-Weasley. And therein lies another issue, Scorpius’ pursuit of Rose.

It is the most rape culture enforcing thing in the whole script! It’s implied that he’s constantly badgering this girl who clearly hates him all because he likes her. Her irritation, and eventual “no” when he asks her out are ignored. Scorpius and Albus even have an exchange where Scorpius says that the pity in Rose’s eyes “is a start”. He even says, “Rose is going to take years to persuade.” He’s making clear his intent to pursue her constantly until she says yes and this is played as light-hearted and cute. The most infuriating thing is that they have her respond to this mess!

Overall, this script is a complete mess. It’s 100% pure crackfic and I’m sure some parts of it have featured in actual fanfiction. This is a mess and I don’t recommend anyone spend money on it like I did. If you want to read it for yourself, I suggest you check it out from your local library. At least that way you save your hard earned money.

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I'm a simple single mom living a complicated life.

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