I refuse to “raise” a grown ass man. That was your parent’s job. I ain’t your mama or your daddy. If you need someone to raise you, go to your mama, your daddy, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, memaw down the street, somebody else other than me. I’m not the one. I already have two kids, I don’t need another one.
I only date adults who are already their own person. I’m not here to complete you or make you whole. I expect you to be a whole person to begin with. I’m not here to fill any voids in yourself or your life. I may complement you like a good wine complements a nice entrée (the entrée is a complete and good meal by itself, but the wine makes it that much better), but I’ll be damned if I’m your “other half”. That’s too much pressure.
My insistence on dating someone with at least a majority of their shit together is why I currently refuse to seriously date. I don’t have my shit together. Mentally I may be mostly put back together, but in a whole lot of other areas I don’t have my shit straight. It wouldn’t be fair for me to throw my burdens on someone else by dating them while my shit’s still out-of-order.
You’d think that notion would constitute basic human decency, but no. There are scores of (mostly men) who seem to think that the purpose of having a partner is for them to deal with their bullshit. That pisses me off to no end. Stop pushing your shit off on everyone else and deal with it like an adult.