Posted in 365 Days of Blogging

Day 166: A short talk about death and shit.

[Trigger warning for talk of suicide and death.]

I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while now. I wish it were easier to talk about death, mortality, and suicide. Usually when you bring up the topic, people start freaking out. Before you ask or assume, no I am not currently suicidal.

People ofthen talk about suicide and the desire to harm yourself, but not the desire for death. Yes, they are two different things. A lot of people don’t want to kill or hurt themselves, but they do wish they were dead.

For example, a suicidal person may think about driving their car into a lake and drowning themselves. Someone who just wants to die may think “You know, if a car hit me and I died that wouldn’t be too bad.” One person wants to do the deed themselves and the other person just wants it to happen sometime soon.

That’s part of the reason why I don’t like the “have you thought about harming or kiling yourself” question. The answer for people who simply wish for death is technically “no”. That doesn’t mean they’re okay though.

When I go to my therapist, I see that question in the little form you have to fill out. What I don’t see is a “have you ever/do you currently wish for death” question. I’ve never even had my therapist ask me that question. Thoughts like that are something that I do think need to be discussed more often. Now, I’m not a medical professional so I don’t know how they’d go about doing it. I just think it needs to be done.




I'm a simple single mom living a complicated life.

One thought on “Day 166: A short talk about death and shit.

  1. I’ve been thinking about exactly this lately. “I’m not suicidal, but I wouldn’t mind being dead.” I googled that, actually, and a lot of people seem to feel the same. And it’s not something we can easily talk about with others because immediately you have to start with the disclaimer, as you did above, that no, you’re not going to do anything. And I can’t blame other people, because they don’t know our minds, they don’t know the distinction, and it’s obviously better to err on the side of caution. But it does make it tougher to talk about. It’s just another part of the unfairness of the situation to deal with, I guess.

    The best thing to do is probably make sure you have a close enough relationship with the people you want to talk about it with, and then explain, just as above, that while you don’t want to self-harm or commit suicide, and get that out of the way first and let them have their initial reactions, but you are currently in a state of mind where you wouldn’t mind not existing anymore. Maybe approaching it from a matter-of-fact problem-solving way will keep them calm too, and make it feel like you’re both tackling this as a problem together, instead of them looking at you as the issue.


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