Have you ever been so exhausted you couldn’t think straight? That’s me right now. I’m even finding it hard to write this right now. That’s just something I have to deal with. Why, you ask? Well, it’s a side effect of my medication. In order to keep my mental health in order, I have to make some sacrifices. Having a surplus of energy is one of them.
During my manic phases, it was common for me to do things non-stop. Cleaning, cooking, reading, writing, paying bills, caring for Kid #1, etc. You name it, I did it. Even after doing all of that, I’d still be amped up. When the crash came though, it hit hard. The exhaustion I didn’t feel during the manic phases collided with a depressed mood and created the perfect storm of horribleness.
Now that I’m on meds that level out my mood and ease the anxiety, that doesn’t happen anymore. Yes, I still get tired and yes it’s still probably worse than most people would feel, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I’m thankful for that. I’m beginning to feel “normal” for the first time in forever. That makes me happy even though I’m super tired.