Posted in Personal

Marriage and Divorce

Divorce when you’re already poor is expensive and time-consuming. Like, I can technically print out the papers and do this myself and only spend around $200. There are two problems with that though:

  1. $200 is a lot when you’re working out how to feed the kids every week.
  2. I don’t have the time to run to the courthouse, sheriff’s office, and post office.

I have two kids. I’m the one caring for said kids. I have to be there when my son gets on and off the bus. Dealing with an almost one year old is a full-time job.

In order to do all this myself, I’d have to go to the courthouse and file the papers, send them to my ex through certified mail or go through the sheriff, go back to the courthouse with proof he got the papers, get a court date, and then show up for court for the final decision. I’m exhausted just typing that out.

That takes a lot of time and energy. Can you imagine doing all of that with a six and one year old? Keep in mind there’s no daycare because that is way out of my price range. There’s just not enough time in the day to get all of that done.

Because of all that, I elected to go the lawyer route. He takes care of all the paperwork and court dates and keeps me informed. Problem is, lawyers are not cheap. Not cheap at all. Nor should they be. Everything I listed before? They gotta do that too. Not only do they do the legwork for my case, he has who knows how many other cases. Lawyers put a lot of time and expertise in what they do and should be compensated fairly.

I’m okay with paying a lawyer to do all the legwork that I simply don’t have time for and doing the paperwork that I don’t understand. Problem is, I’m paying dearly for that convenience. A little over $1,000 to get it all done. Even then I have to wait about 4 months to get the final divorce decree. That’s not even counting that we had to be separated for 1 year. So all in all, from break up to divorce it’ll be about a year and a half.

Marriage on the other hand was quick and cheap. It took two days and cost somewhere around $20.

Marriage? Quick and cheap.

Divorce? Time consuming and expensive.

I really feel like those two should be reversed. Marriage is one hell of a commitment and a legally binding contract. You shouldn’t be able to sign off on that so quick. There should be some kind of waiting period just to make sure you really want to do it.

On the other hand, by the time you’ve figured out you want a divorce you’re ready to get it over with. Drawing it out just puts you in a weird relationship limbo that’s emotionally draining. By the time it’s over with, you’re a wreck financially and personally.

That’s why I’ve sworn off marriage for the foreseeable future. Financially, emotionally, and mentally, I know it’s not for me. I know not to put myself through that again. It sucks I had to find that out the hard way.

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Author:

I'm a simple single mom living a complicated life.

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