Gather round kiddies and let me tell you a tale of one of the worst roommates in the history of ever.
So, the first time around in college, I did the traditional college experience. (I went in right after high school and lived on campus.) Little ol’ freshman me gets a sophomore (maybe junior, I can’t remember but I know she was older than me) roommate. I thought she was cool, but it turns out she was extremely inappropriate. I have multiple stories on how, but I’ll focus on two.
Now, ol’ girl was friends with one of the girls in the room connected to ours (we shared a bathroom). They went clubbing together, they sometimes went to classes together, they were just real good friends.
There was one time where they went out clubbing and were out super late. I wasn’t the clubbing type, so I went to bed early. I sorta heard the door open and close real early in the morning, but I didn’t think nothing of it. I wake up in the morning and do my morning routine thinking nothing of the lump in the bed next to mine.
I come out of the bathroom (thankfully fully dressed) and notice that it wasn’t my roommate in bed after all. It was her friend from next door and she had some random ass nigga with her. I’m goddamn mortified. What in the holy hell?! That’s one big ass violation of personal space. Now, me being the socially anxious child that I am, I didn’t say anything at the time. I did feel like throwing the fuck up though.
SKIP TO A FEW MONTHS LATER, and they’ve never done that again. I think I’m in the clear. Turns out no. So, it’s a fuckin school night and me and the roommate are in the room alone. It was late and I was tired so I went to sleep. I wake up in the morning and see a big black lump on the floor. I’m thinking my roommate left her clothes on the floor (again).
NOPE! My eyes adjust and I see not one, but TWO NIGGAS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR ASLEEP AND ONE MORE IN HER BED. I’m literally shaking as I write this because it scared the ever-loving FUCK out of me. I DID throw up that time. I went to sleep and it was just me and her. I woke up and it was me, her, and THREE FUCKING DUDES.
Not only that, but as I’m getting ready I hear their conversation and it turns out that she met these motherfuckers on FACEBOOK that night. Needless to say, I was freaking the hell out. She had no idea who these niggas were. She didn’t know if these niggas were rapists. She didn’t know if they were thieves.
I’m a deep sleeper and so is she. Ain’t no fucking telling what they could have done when both of us were asleep. She didn’t know if they got off on assaulting women. SHE DIDN’T KNOW THEM AT ALL BUT THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO HAVE THEM IN OUR ROOM!!! I requested a transfer that fucking day and (thankfully) got it. I avoided the FUCK out of her on campus and haven’t seen her since.
That soured me on the whole “roommate” situation. Never. Fucking. Again. I’ll NEVER have another roommate as long as I live. The only people I’ll live with are my kids and my future partner (but only after a long ass time dating).