Let’s take a second to talk about apologies. A lot of y’all use that word but have no idea what you’re talking about. When you hurt someone and apologize, your apology should not center around you and how bad you feel. This isn’t about you. If you’re apologizing to a person, your apology should focus on them and how you won’t hurt that person again. Also, if your apology has “I’m sorry if you” or “I’m sorry you were” in it, you’re probably doing it very wrong.
“I’m sorry if you were offended by my super racist comedy video.” <– Not an apology.
“I’m sorry if you were hurt by me calling my Black friend a n**ger.” <– Not an apology.
“I’m sorry if you were offended by my sexist, horribly done satire.” <– Not an apology.
After you make an apology, whether it’s a good one or bad one, you are not “owed” forgiveness. If the person you’re apologizing to doesn’t want to forgive you, they don’t have to. You also don’t have any right to demand they do. If the person you’re apologizing to doesn’t want to acknowledge your apology, they don’t have to. You don’t have the right to demand anything from the person you are apologizing to. They owe you nothing.
A real apology is not about making you feel better or making you look good. A real apology is about acknowledging that you caused hurt and pain. A real apology is about identifying the mistake you made, looking at the aftermath of that decision, and learning from it. A real apology is about adjusting your behavior so that your mistake is not repeated again. Apologies, real apologies, should always be backed up with actions.