Posted in Sexuality

#BlackBiBeauty Was A Success!

#BlackBiBeauty was everything I wanted it to be and more. I’m amazed at the amount of people who participated on tumblr, Facebook (yes, I saw y’all), and on twitter. I also want to send out a big thank you to applewriter on twitter for helping make this happen. I was nervous about it at first, but I’m glad I did it. The outcome was definitely worth it.

The sense of community was what I was going for and I think we got it. I heard from so many people how they were finally able to participate in a hashtag and how they felt represented for the first time. A very good discussion was had about how Black bisexual men are vilified in our community.

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Posted in Sexuality


So, I had an idea. A bad idea probably, but an idea nonetheless.

Black bisexual people catch shit from all sides. We get labeled as gay when we come out or told we don’t exist. Black bi men get told they’re the cause of HIV in the Black community because “DL”. Black cishet women are biphobic as all hell (don’t try to deny it). Black bi women are treated as personal sex toys by cishet Black men. Black bi women are also told we’re destroying the Black community because stuff? Reasons? Things? I haven’t really figured it out and neither have the biphobic people in question.

To counter this shitstorm of negativity, I wanted something where Black bisexual individuals could show ourselves being happy and cute because we are. I also want to show all the closeted Black bisexual people and the Black bisexual babies out there that they aren’t alone. We’re out here and we’re here for you.

So, the last Saturday of this month (March 25th), if you’re Black and bi and want some way to participate, use the hashtag #BlackBiBeauty on twitter, tumblr, even Facebook. Post a selfie of you just being happy. Post a pic of you and your partner in love. Show people that we’re still bi no matter who we date. Tell your story about being Black and bisexual. I want to hear and see it all.

Posted in Sexuality

The Mercurian Relationship

Here’s something I’m sick of hearing: “Bisexual people in heterosexual relationships.” That right there is simply not possible. Wanna know why? It’s because we’re not heterosexual. We aren’t straight therefore our relationships are not straight. It’s entirely possible that we’re with a bisexual or pansexual person!

Having a straight partner does not make you or the relationship straight either. Same thing goes for bisexual people in relationships with people of the same gender. Their relationships are not gay. They’re still bi. The whole “you’re in a straight relationship” and “you’re in a gay relationship” thing plays into the “you’re really straight/gay” phenomenon. We aren’t “picking a side” when we chose a partner. WE. ARE. STILL. BI.

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Posted in Personal

Sing A Sad Love Song

Today is sad love song day for me. It’s probably because this divorce is finally coming to a close. I’ll have the divorce decree in my hand in the near future and that makes me feel… I don’t know. Part of me feels like I wasted a decade of my life and the other part just feels like this is one chapter of my life closing and the beginning of a new one.

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Posted in Uncategorized

Communication in Relationships

I’m still rather annoyed by the time I was told I had a simplistic view of relationships because I expect partners to communicate. I mean, how is wanting people to talk to one another simplistic? Why is that a novel concept when it comes to relationships? I truly believe that simply talking to your partner would solve a solid 90% of relationship problems.

Also, another part of communication is LISTENING. Talk to your partner and LISTEN to them.

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Posted in Racism

Rachel Dolezal’s “Blackness” is Bullshit

But you (hopefully) knew this already.

So Rachel Dolezal is back in the news and it reminded me of something she said years ago. Remember when she claimed that she was “Black” for survival? I sure do and it’s still insulting as all hell. Her whole Blackface life was (is) supposedly about “survival”. How’s that working out for her now?

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