Posted in Sexuality

10 More Things Bi People Are Sick of Hearing

Since you people won’t quit, I won’t either.

It turns out there’s way more than just ten things that us bi folks really don’t like hearing. So, let’s go through another list of what not to say. Ever.

“So, which side is better?”

Oh this one’s easy. The non-biphobic side. You know, the one you’re not on.

“You’re not capable of monogamy.”

Is this your fancy way of saying (again) that we’re cheaters? Ugh. You do know straight people cheat too, right? That’s not exclusive to bi people. Also, non-monogamous relationships (that aren’t cheating) are a thing. Not being capable of monogamy isn’t something to be shameful of (unless you’re a cheater and in that case, fuck you).

“You’re just afraid of commitment.”

Oh I’m afraid of commitment alright. Afraid of committing to your biphobic ass.

Once again, this is another thing not specific to bi people. Fear of commitment spans every sexuality there is. Some people are just not ready for what a true commitment means. As long as they’re honest about the fact that they don’t want that, I don’t see what the problem is. If you want commitment and they don’t, then you know where each of you stands and y’all can either work it out or leave.

“Bi men spread HIV to straight women.”

This is part of that “down low” narrative that makes me see red. According to these people, gay men are the ones who get HIV and straight women wouldn’t contract it unless the men they’re with were having sex with other men “on the low”. It’s ridiculous, I know. The truth of the matter is, any and everyone can contract HIV through multiple means. If you want to know more about the myth, it’s origins, and why it’s bullshit, read up on it here.

“Well, I just couldn’t date a bisexual person.”

Why? Explain to me, in detail, why exactly you can’t date a bi person without it boiling down to biphobia.

i'll wait

“Are you attracted to everyone?”

Maybe. Is that a problem?

This question depends on how you say it. Said in a derisive tone, it makes me want to punch you in the face. If you’re just genuinely curious, it’s not an issue. People assume that bisexual means “attracted to men and women only”, but that’s not necessarily true. The actual definition varies from person to person so it’s best not to make assumptions. You know what they say about those. They make an ASS out of U and ME. (I’m sorry, I had to do it.)

“You’re just confused.”

What I’m confused by is your biphobia, not who I’m attracted to.

“You’re just doing this for attention.”

Ah yes! I’m totally subjecting myself to ridicule, discrimination, and erasure simply for your attention. I’m so glad you noticed.

“(When dating someone of the same gender) You’re just gay in denial.”

Our sexuality does not go away just because of who we’re dating.

“(When dating someone of a different gender) You’re just straight in denial.”

AGAIN, our sexuality does not go away just because of who we’re dating. The gender of our current partner has no bearing on our sexuality. We’re still bi. At a later date, that could change. Sexuality is fluid like that. HOWEVER, when we tell you we’re bi, that means we are freaking bi. Respect that and stop being a biphobic bag of dicks.

So there’s your list of ten more things you shouldn’t say to a bi person. I hope you’ve learned a lesson here. If you have,

yourewelcome

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I'm a simple single mom living a complicated life.

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