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Jesus Was A Dick As A Kid

If the Infancy Gospel of Thomas is to believed, Jesus was kind of a dick as a kid. My favorite stories about Jesus are contained within this Gnostic text that was not included in the Bible. It has a lot of interesting stories, but my favorite starts off with Jesus and a few kids playing on a roof.

The building Jesus and his friends were playing on was two stories tall. One kid was messing around and pushed another kid. That child fell off the roof and died. The rest of the kids saw this, got scared, and they ran. Jesus was the last one left on the roof. The parents of the dead kid heard about what happened and ran up to the building. They saw their child dead on the ground and Jesus standing on the roof alone.

They make the assumption that Jesus was the one who threw the kid off the and they were (quite obviously) pissed. Jesus jumped down from the roof of the two-story building and landed by the dead kid’s (Zeno) head.

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