Posted in Sexuality

Heterosexuality Is Not The “Norm”

I believe that straight people do not hold the vast majority they think they have. I recently made this, mostly innocent, statement on tumblr and found out quickly that was a mistake. My little throwaway post somehow made it to Reddit’s r/tumblrinaction and I caught heat from a lot of anti-social justice people. I was called everything from delusional to a r*tard. One charming anonymous person said they’d be happy to read of my suicide in the obituaries. The one that really made me snap was the person who, in the tags of one post, decided to compare me, a Black bisexual woman, to Ronald Reagan.

That was insulting on a number of fronts. For one, Ronald Reagan sat back and watched the AIDS epidemic tear through the gay community and stood silent. He refused to speak the word for years. Then there’s the plethora of things he did to the Black community. The one thing that immediately pops into mind is his and his wife’s part in the war on drugs. As both a Black woman and a bisexual person, it is both insulting and hurtful to be compared to that man.

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Posted in Sexuality

10 More Things Bi People Are Sick of Hearing

Since you people won’t quit, I won’t either.

It turns out there’s way more than just ten things that us bi folks really don’t like hearing. So, let’s go through another list of what not to say. Ever.

“So, which side is better?”

Oh this one’s easy. The non-biphobic side. You know, the one you’re not on.

“You’re not capable of monogamy.”

Is this your fancy way of saying (again) that we’re cheaters? Ugh. You do know straight people cheat too, right? That’s not exclusive to bi people. Also, non-monogamous relationships (that aren’t cheating) are a thing. Not being capable of monogamy isn’t something to be shameful of (unless you’re a cheater and in that case, fuck you).

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Posted in Sexuality

#BlackBiBeauty Was A Success!

#BlackBiBeauty was everything I wanted it to be and more. I’m amazed at the amount of people who participated on tumblr, Facebook (yes, I saw y’all), and on twitter. I also want to send out a big thank you to applewriter on twitter for helping make this happen. I was nervous about it at first, but I’m glad I did it. The outcome was definitely worth it.

The sense of community was what I was going for and I think we got it. I heard from so many people how they were finally able to participate in a hashtag and how they felt represented for the first time. A very good discussion was had about how Black bisexual men are vilified in our community.

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Posted in Sexuality

#BlackBiBeauty

So, I had an idea. A bad idea probably, but an idea nonetheless.

Black bisexual people catch shit from all sides. We get labeled as gay when we come out or told we don’t exist. Black bi men get told they’re the cause of HIV in the Black community because “DL”. Black cishet women are biphobic as all hell (don’t try to deny it). Black bi women are treated as personal sex toys by cishet Black men. Black bi women are also told we’re destroying the Black community because stuff? Reasons? Things? I haven’t really figured it out and neither have the biphobic people in question.

To counter this shitstorm of negativity, I wanted something where Black bisexual individuals could show ourselves being happy and cute because we are. I also want to show all the closeted Black bisexual people and the Black bisexual babies out there that they aren’t alone. We’re out here and we’re here for you.

So, the last Saturday of this month (March 25th), if you’re Black and bi and want some way to participate, use the hashtag #BlackBiBeauty on twitter, tumblr, even Facebook. Post a selfie of you just being happy. Post a pic of you and your partner in love. Show people that we’re still bi no matter who we date. Tell your story about being Black and bisexual. I want to hear and see it all.

Posted in Sexuality

The Mercurian Relationship

Here’s something I’m sick of hearing: “Bisexual people in heterosexual relationships.” That right there is simply not possible. Wanna know why? It’s because we’re not heterosexual. We aren’t straight therefore our relationships are not straight. It’s entirely possible that we’re with a bisexual or pansexual person!

Having a straight partner does not make you or the relationship straight either. Same thing goes for bisexual people in relationships with people of the same gender. Their relationships are not gay. They’re still bi. The whole “you’re in a straight relationship” and “you’re in a gay relationship” thing plays into the “you’re really straight/gay” phenomenon. We aren’t “picking a side” when we chose a partner. WE. ARE. STILL. BI.

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Posted in 365 Days of Blogging, Sexuality

Day 162: Questions that need answers

I got some questions and I need some answers damn it!

  1. Who was the person who decided that the number of sexual partners should be called a “body count”?

  2. Do y’all realize how homicidal that sounds? “What’s your body count?” “5. They’re all buried in the backyard.”

  3. Why is it your business what someone’s “body count” is? Are y’all fuckin?

  4. How does fuckin over a certain amount of people make you amoral or a bad person?

  5. Why is the language around sex so damn violent? “Beat it up”, “bust it open”, “body count”, “tear it up”… Are you trying to fuck or kill each other?

  6. Does the “low body counts show you respect yourself” rule only count when sleeping with men?
  7. If so, why don’t women count?
  8. Do women count towards a body count?
  9. If not, why not?

That’s only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the questions I have, but I can’t sit here all night typing them out. If you got some answers or some questions yourself, comment and let me know.

Posted in 365 Days of Blogging, Sexuality

Day 133: Dating and Biphobia

I have never in my life seen someone give a good reason for not dating a bisexual person. It almost always boils down to “they cheat” or “they’ll leave me for a guy/girl”. For lesbian and gay people, the reason usually boils down to “ew they had sex with a guy/girl”. Straight girls who won’t date bi guys usually pull out the “he’s on the DL” mess. People love pulling the “personal choice” card, but if you press them the biphobia always comes out.

I particularly don’t like the “they’ll leave me for a guy/girl” bit. It’s always rubbed me the wrong way. You know what? Maybe they’re leaving your raggedy ass for being a biphobic piece of shit. Maybe the got tired of hearing biphobic bullshit every time they were around you and decided to be with someone who gave a fuck about them. Maybe the problem is your ass and not them and their sexuality.

Maybe you need to fucking question why the gender of your ex’s new boo bothers you so fucking much. They are not with you anymore! The gender of the person they’re currently with has not a damn thing to do with you! Mind your own business! If you’re so concerned about who an ex-partner is with, you’re probably an extremely intrusive human being or you’re hung up on the past relationship which they’ve obviously gotten over.

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